TREATING THIS AS AN ACTUAL CASUAL CONVERSATION

When your recruiter tells you this will be a casual conversation, it doesn’t mean it’s informal. Casual is showing up to Sunday brunch with your friends. This is business, and you have a lot at stake. I used to go into these conversations blindly, got burned—even failing interviews at companies I previously passed. I learned my lesson, and to this day the prepared version of me has ALWAYS beat the “wing it” version of me.

GIVING ANSWERS WITHOUT STORIES

Your answers should have personal experiences to back them up, otherwise they rarely hold ground. Rarely will anyone care about your hypothetical examples, as anyone can be their best selves in an imagined world.  When you search for behavioral interview advice online, most of it is terrible advice for tech interviews.
I’ve found interviewing in Silicon Valley to be the most challenging landscape, you are competing against extremely competent and smart high performers.

If your story is not 100% relevant to the question (as you may not have experienced that yet), you can preemptively acknowledge that before sharing. I would rather maneuver to share a related answer to a question than a hypothetical example.
Hypothetical examples signal lack of experience.

TALKING TOO LONG
Avoid the fatal mistake of rambling on and on. I once had an interviewee take so much time answering that I was only able to squeeze in 4 questions for 30 minutes. This was after I reminded them about the limited time when we were halfway with only two questions answered, including the intro “tell me about yourself” question. The mutual assessment from the panel interviewers was that they were difficult to communicate with.

NOT RESEARCHING YOUR INTERVIEWERS

When I asked a VP of design how to prepare for my behavioral interview, instead of asking for my stories, he proceeded to ask me the names of their interviewers and pull up their Linkedin pages. Just like how tech sales would research their clients before a call, he advised me to do the same. He showed me how to tailor my answers to highlight values they cared about.

This was a good reminder that at the end of the day, interviews are still a conversation between two people. This means you should find a way to connect with another person. Knowing how to speak to someone’s values is an important life skill. I’ve passed many interview rounds not because of how aligned my experience was, but because I was able to manage the conversation and align on our shared values.

NOT SHOWING GENUINE INTEREST

You want to show that this role aligns with your values and career goals, that you’d be a good team fit, and you are interested in the mission. Employers want people who are interested in the opportunity as opposed to fishing for whatever they can get. I’ve interviewed someone who was a veteran in the industry, who should have been a top contender for the role—however, they stated that even though the role was a bad fit for their career goals, they wanted to continue the interview to get a VISA. Suffice to say, this was a major turnoff for the hiring manager.

LACKING RESILIENCE

Interviews are a numbers game, especially the initial screenings and behavioral interviews. Rejections never feel pleasant. 

It may feel that you keep missing your shot of making the right impression and securing the offer. Maybe you keep getting rejected, and it feels neverending. However, if you reach an onsite or final interview, eventually you will get an offer, as you’re also improving with the skill of interviewing.

The more shots you take, the better your aim becomes. I’m also reminded of how tech sales face rejection from the majority of their clients, yet they keep cold messaging and calling. As they improve their strategies, so does their close rate. This the mindset for resilience to learn from.